A Little Humor

 

Even as a child, I loved jokes because a good laugh made the pain of normal life go away for a little while. Seeing others smile when it was difficult for me do the same is amazing feeling, especially if those who received joy were fairly serious people with little time for humor. Another reason why I like to make people laugh is that I suffer from general anxiety, so it’s difficult for me to join a crowd. A quick joke is often enough for me to put on a brave face that doesn’t go away very easily. Sadly, some of my better material was through a phone with often little feedback.

Two jokes I like were from preachers and if a member of the cloth can make a crowd laugh, then it has to be good. Sermons can be a little dry once the handshaking is finished and a few tears of joy brings its own charm.

A man goes to the doctor and says he can’t taste anything because of his allergies. The doctor tells the nurse to bring Jar 23 from the back and she does. The doctor gives his patient a spoonful of the strange liquid and immediately gags, but is cured. A few weeks later the patient comes back and tells his doctor that he can’t remember anything. The doctor asks how the patient knew where to go and the patient said a friend brought him and told him who to see for treatment. With a smile the doctor tells the nurse to bring Jar 23 and the patient runs for his life.

An elderly man decides to move himself and his wife down to Florida. The husband takes care of everything while his wife packs up the old home. Sadly, the husband passes away before the big move. The poor widow is beside herself and does barely anything until after the funeral. Upon a check of the computer, the wife finds an email from her late husband and it’s dated the day of the funeral. The wife opens the email and it says “I’ve got everything a woman like you has deserved your entire life waiting. There are plenty of people to meet and there are also a few that we know from back home. I do admit that it sure is hot down here.”

Other jokes just come to me on the road or if I see something on TV that sets of my humor power. I often send these jokes out to friends, but sometimes I don’t get as much of a response and while people have their own lives, I find it sad that not many can take a moment to say if they liked what I created. Since I don’t do other forms of social media, I need some proof of life every now and then to make sure that everything is good elsewhere.

This group of cowboys asks a friend from the city if he wants to go on a cattle drive. The friend says ‘sorry, I can’t use stick or how to parallel park.’

A man got into a car accident involving a herd of large deer found his insurance wouldn’t cover the damage. Dumfounded, all the man could say was ‘doh!’

This Christmas we hung up a lot of decorations including three deer made of lights. On the ground in front of them is a ceramic fawn surrounded in lights. Our neighbors asked ‘what’s the deal with the odd deer out?’ Without missing a beat, I said the deer was adopted.

I went to the dentist not long ago for cleaning and x-rays. While I sat with the large bib on I asked everyone ‘when do I get the crab?’

A man books a trip to New York with an agent. Everything is taken care of save for where to stay. The agents asks if there’s any place special and the man replies the Waldorf. After a search, the agent sadly reports that the Waldorf is full. The man quickly asks ‘what about The Statler?’

Jokes are my way to let people know how I feel and the more people laugh, the better I feel about doing anything. I’m sure that I’ll find plenty of new jokes in the future and would be glad to share them with anyone willing to lend an ear.