Open Mic

 

Open Mic

 

For many years I didn’t have much of a social life as it was difficult for me to meet people and carry on simple conversations. General anxiety and not much to tell stood as tall obstacles for breaking the ice in large crowds where everyone wants to be heard and I felt powerless. Even if a fair amount of my friends were in the room, I usually lacked the confidence to be the first to bestow any form information to reveal the person hiding behind nervous smiles or near corners where the time passed until whatever event ended. No matter how happy things were supposed to be, I stayed silent and with friends coming and going as life progressed, it was difficult to share anything with anyone who likely forgot about once the moment passed.

Luckily, I found a new group of friends to meet up with once a month to share experiences put onto paper in the form of a local open mic night at the local bookstore, City Lights. Save for Dr. Catherine Carter, I knew no one at these events or how to contribute to the group, but as I needed some relief of the mental kind I attended my first night. Thankfully the event was in a small room with only a few readers so the chaos of a large crowd was avoided. I was the youngest of the group and I think that helped because older adults have gone through a number of nervous new faces and know how to tell who was nervous and every smile soothed my nerves. I listened to the writers who read their works about their takes on life and I knew that next time I had to share some of my talents.

I don’t recall what piece I shared first as it was so long ago, but my confidence grew every time I stepped up to the podium to read. One thing I enjoyed reading were alphabet poems in which I start at one random letter that serves as the first word of each sentence and I go through until all letters are used going either forward or backwards. In time I created poems for the members of the Open Mic group in addition to my friends and teachers who provided me with equally great strength until we were all together. While such poems were a hit with everyone, they weren’t what allowed me to pour out my talents and appreciation for other genres of literature.

After I rediscovered a dystopian anime series called The Big O, I noticed that the peculiar titles of the episodes almost sounded like portions from a broken story and I wanted to see what I could create. While there weren’t many episodes to use, I managed to create a small poem that received praise and I knew that I had stumbled onto something impressive and I wanted to see how far such a road went. Thankfully, my love of music provided ample inspiration for years of poems, using the most of the song titles, with album titles for flavor, from artists I enjoyed like Styx, David Bowie, Journey and Queen. I only use the titles and not lyrics, so that makes my poems technically a parody, however the way I describe the overall experience is that of a message of hope from very a cynical higher being that while they believe humanity can change, it won’t be easy with certain people in the world.

I found such praise for poems that I was able to read one set to Phil Collins at my graduation ceremony and I saw everyone else’s face light up from across the room. Experiencing such delight from strangers is an amazing thing and I was glad that I hadn’t chosen someone whose titles formed a very dark poems as it’s happened before and there wasn’t much hope to turn things around into a positive message, but you need a little darkness to balance out the light.

Since the pandemic started, they haven’t been any Open Mic’s at our bookstore and while I continue to write, it’s not the same without a live audience. It’s important to be around people, so being cut off from a legendary play write, war veteran, someone able to find humor in current events, teachers who love to read and a someone who proves that we all want to be seen as amazing people regardless feels like moving far away where the sights, sounds, smells and tastes that were the silver linings on the darkest of days. While I’ve some received feedback on my work, it’s not nearly the same as being in the same room where greatness is born. I’ve had a few encounters with the members of Open Mic, but they weren’t with everyone and didn’t last long enough to make up for the difficult time apart.

At least I there was a chance to test the waters for another way to share work and meet new people. A while back I joined up with the NetWest Writing group and we had a virtual Open Mic, but it wasn’t quite the same. The biggest issue I had with event was that there wasn’t a chance for getting to know everyone before and after the main event and not being able to shake someone’s hand is like eating food that hasn’t been seasoned, it gets you by, but it’s hard to enjoy everything. Unlike the Open Mic at City Lights, this one featured a guest speaker who talked about their work and then there was a little time for anyone who wanted to read to step into the spotlight. While the chance to read in front of an audience was nice, the limited time made me stutter and silently prayed for it to be over.

The one thing that gave me the confidence during the reading was that I had a very special piece to share and what made really special was that a good friend requested not only the artist, but how to use the titles. One such friend gave me a real challenge and they suggested that I use Boston’s very limited discography to relate the events of the moon landing. This was a challenge because it’s hard to say no from such an amazing person, but if you’re a fan of Boston, you know that albums are few and far in between. Luckily, the thoughts of the smile of the requester made the writing possible and the applause received proved that I hadn’t lost my touch.

I’d like to publish my song title poems one day, however I don’t have the faintest ideas about the legal issues tied to such a work. While I’m aware that song titles can’t be copywrited in the same way movies and books are, it’s important to give credit where credit is due. Most of the time I only use the more obscure titles or the one’s that sound so generic that you have to read all of the poem to guess the creator if not many of the more iconic songs are used. I’ve know a lot of artists with large greatest hits albums that are good, but the songs that missed the cut are amazingly helpful at disguising the artists involved while also providing filler. At first I titles my poems with the artist or band, but with the pandemic I gave a vague description of the source so I had a reason to get a response from my readers. All in all, a book of such poems are just my way of giving great thanks to such artists and that there were special messages hidden in plain sight that got someone like me through dark times and I want to share my thoughts with the world.

One reason why I like having Open Mic nights is that it proves that while most of the world has passed me by, it have proof of the those see my worth. Every poem I write for someone is my way to say that I’m thankful for the affection you’ve blessed me with and I hope to share more of my life with such wonderful people. I filmed a few Open Mics and put them on my YouTube channel Radish Poet Showings to encourage friends to join us and also so that a few distant relatives and rediscovered friends can see who I became since our last meeting. Being forgotten is one of the worst things in life and the videos I have serve as small anchors to prove where I was for a little while and also how I can remember my special friends when I can’t see or hear them in the present with little knowledge of where the future will lead.

We had a virtual Open Mic on March 5^th and April 16^th at seven thirty and they were a mix of the City Lights and NetWest Writers groups, but not being in the same room took a lot of the flavor from nostalgia. As for what I shared during these times, one of the pieces was created over the pandemic and it made a Vietnam War Veteran concerned for my being and another was a dark request from an old friend who reached out to me after over a decade. While I’m still alive and well, at the time you could say that I feeling down from not having much contact with my friends and such a piece came together with more darkness than intended to see who had the compassion to reach out to an old friend.

Hopefully everything will go well and the pandemic will end so that we can all be together to share more of our works and also have them filmed to relive the cherished moments. I know the request to meet can’t always be answered by everyone, but at least there is a way to be remembered no matter where we all are and to show appreciation. Keep on reading and be well my friends.